I have a room. It's a room for the secrets. It's a room for the feelings. It's a room for all the emotions that don't get to leave my mind through my voice.
This room is full of shelves. It's compartmentalized. My thoughts go through a calculated categorisation process. Each thought gets allotted to a particular shelf. Though they all are somehow connected.
I have a shelf for my secrets. I have a shelf for the secrets that people tell me. A shelf for self-doubts. A shelf for ideas. A shelf for hobbies. A shelf for feelings. A shelf for other people and their opinions. A shelf for my own opinions.
But sometimes, it's okay to let a thought leave the shelf and out of the room of our mind. Because sometimes, contemplating things over and over instead of sharing it with others kills us from inside. It may or may not help. But it kind of makes it a bit easier to stay sane. Hence, I'm sharing one out of the million thoughts that bugs me on a daily basis.
There's a rule of this room I mentioned, the shelves can't be disorganised. One thought can't be taken out of a shelf and placed in any other shelf. A place for everything and everything in its place. That's the golden rule. If it's disturbed, chaos takes over. I mess up things. Make mistakes. Take bad decisions. It stresses me out. It makes me sick. It makes me rough. It makes me bad.
It makes us human. We can't be human. Humans are overrun by emotions. We don't want that. Nobody wants that. Everybody wants to be in control of their emotions. The more human we are, the more messy we are. Because humans aren't perfect.
And that's what kills us. Unable to accept the fact that we don't even have control over our own thoughts and actions. And what's that compared to the society we live in? The constant judgement and opinions of people who may or may not matter to us. People who may or may not affect our life in any way.
That's why we keep ourselves in check. Show the world a filtered version of us. We know we are despicable. We hate ourselves for it. But we can't live on hating ourselves. We look for kindness in others. Since we can't accept ourselves, we look for that acceptance in others. Maybe this is the reason why people want to be liked and cherished by others.
We look for that in social media. This post itself could be a way of facilitating that(* Gosh, the hypocrisy! *). Most posts are! Can't you relate? We all have done it at some point of time. Some of us know, some of us don't. Some of us accept that, some of us live in denial and some of us really don't care.
To be honest, if you are still reading this I'm pretty sure you can relate to this! You might even have formed your opinions on all the things I have mentioned. Maybe those opinions are in favour of what I've written or maybe they ridicule the same. But do we actually care what the other person thinks? We all are happy to tag along with the other person till we share the same opinion. The moment you take a stand against what the other person is saying, all hell breaks loose. How many names have you cut off from your good books the moment their opinion started getting different from yours? Did those names make it to your bad books? Of course they did. The question is, what it took and how much time it took you to do that! Think about that.
Shit! Look how I derailed from one stuff to another. It's all messy again. Looks like I lost the shelf from which I pulled the thought out. The thought just wandered off to the other shelves. Let me find the correct one. Might take some time to calm everything down inside the room. Don't mind. I'll stop here. Gotta get everything organised. Hope your rooms aren't in shambles. Good luck, because you'll need it when you unlock the room at 2 am when you can't sleep.
This room is full of shelves. It's compartmentalized. My thoughts go through a calculated categorisation process. Each thought gets allotted to a particular shelf. Though they all are somehow connected.
I have a shelf for my secrets. I have a shelf for the secrets that people tell me. A shelf for self-doubts. A shelf for ideas. A shelf for hobbies. A shelf for feelings. A shelf for other people and their opinions. A shelf for my own opinions.
But sometimes, it's okay to let a thought leave the shelf and out of the room of our mind. Because sometimes, contemplating things over and over instead of sharing it with others kills us from inside. It may or may not help. But it kind of makes it a bit easier to stay sane. Hence, I'm sharing one out of the million thoughts that bugs me on a daily basis.
There's a rule of this room I mentioned, the shelves can't be disorganised. One thought can't be taken out of a shelf and placed in any other shelf. A place for everything and everything in its place. That's the golden rule. If it's disturbed, chaos takes over. I mess up things. Make mistakes. Take bad decisions. It stresses me out. It makes me sick. It makes me rough. It makes me bad.
It makes us human. We can't be human. Humans are overrun by emotions. We don't want that. Nobody wants that. Everybody wants to be in control of their emotions. The more human we are, the more messy we are. Because humans aren't perfect.
And that's what kills us. Unable to accept the fact that we don't even have control over our own thoughts and actions. And what's that compared to the society we live in? The constant judgement and opinions of people who may or may not matter to us. People who may or may not affect our life in any way.
That's why we keep ourselves in check. Show the world a filtered version of us. We know we are despicable. We hate ourselves for it. But we can't live on hating ourselves. We look for kindness in others. Since we can't accept ourselves, we look for that acceptance in others. Maybe this is the reason why people want to be liked and cherished by others.
We look for that in social media. This post itself could be a way of facilitating that(* Gosh, the hypocrisy! *). Most posts are! Can't you relate? We all have done it at some point of time. Some of us know, some of us don't. Some of us accept that, some of us live in denial and some of us really don't care.
To be honest, if you are still reading this I'm pretty sure you can relate to this! You might even have formed your opinions on all the things I have mentioned. Maybe those opinions are in favour of what I've written or maybe they ridicule the same. But do we actually care what the other person thinks? We all are happy to tag along with the other person till we share the same opinion. The moment you take a stand against what the other person is saying, all hell breaks loose. How many names have you cut off from your good books the moment their opinion started getting different from yours? Did those names make it to your bad books? Of course they did. The question is, what it took and how much time it took you to do that! Think about that.
Shit! Look how I derailed from one stuff to another. It's all messy again. Looks like I lost the shelf from which I pulled the thought out. The thought just wandered off to the other shelves. Let me find the correct one. Might take some time to calm everything down inside the room. Don't mind. I'll stop here. Gotta get everything organised. Hope your rooms aren't in shambles. Good luck, because you'll need it when you unlock the room at 2 am when you can't sleep.
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